There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize