I wish I could punch you in the face.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
