Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
