I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
