I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
