Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
