Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
