8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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