marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
