Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
