Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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