but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
