A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
