put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
