Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
