i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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