if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
