mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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