I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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