He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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