Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
