Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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