Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
