Pants 0. Shit 1.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
