Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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