consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
