I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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