Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
