He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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