addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
