that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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