So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
