i think my tv is drunk
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
