everyone is single if you try hard enough
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The beer is more important than you right now.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
