I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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