I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Life is so much better after having sex.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
