oh god the rape fog is back!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
A bitchslap is in order.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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