at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
