i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
