the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
