the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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