So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
