Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
