But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
