When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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