I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize