I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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