Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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