but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
