I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize