you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I will be naked everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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