Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
we're so committed to being not committed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
