she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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