And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
