I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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