Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
