I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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