Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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