i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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