thus making me awesome and them whores
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
