they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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