Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
