it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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