my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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